Terror in the Water

"Alright," my coach says, "this afternoon we're going to be doing our first open water swim of the trip!" The team cheers with excitement as I sit glued to the bench, fingers wrapped around the metal as though my entire life depends on never letting go.

It's December 2007, the University of Idaho swim team has traveled to Kona, Hawaii for two weeks for our annual Christmas training trip.

I'm terrified of swimming in the ocean. There are scary things in the ocean. You can't see what's out there!

The tears start flowing freely as my body quivers and sobs erupt from my chest. About half the team, as well as my coach looks in my direction in confusion.

Did I mention that I'm terrified of swimming in the ocean?

One hour, that's how long until I had to somehow manage to pry my hands from the bench, make it back to the hotel room, change into my swim suit, walk down to the beach and force myself into the water, and hopefully not pass out of fear in the process. But maybe if that happened I wouldn't have to swim.

The hour passes much too quickly and before I know it I'm standing barefoot in the sand, my goggles slowing filling with tears and completely fogged up. Shaking in an unhealthy manner I inch myself towards the water knowing that I have no other choice. One of my teammates Sara is right by my side promising that she won't leave my side during the entire swim. Katsumi, our athletic trainer, apparently unaware of the situation at hand, looks back at me from the knee-deep water where he stands to laugh and say "Hey Aly-son, watch for sharks!" That does it, I lose it again. "Oh, no, no! So sorry, I'm kidding! No sharks!" he says.

Bawling my eyes out in near hysterics I stand on the beach not willing to take another step. Somehow Sara manages to convince me that I will in fact not be eaten alive. It takes nearly an eternity, but comes all too quickly. I'm knee-deep in water, I'm waist-deep in water, I'm swimming.

Stroke, stroke, breath, stroke, stroke, breath. Haven't died yet but still have a long way to go. I manage to distract myself by watching the fish swim by. This method works for a good while and somehow I find myself enjoying the swim. That is until I look down and suddenly realize all I see is blackness.

They say the number one cause of drowning is panic in the water. Well, that day I panicked. For those that have never experienced a panic attack, you lose all ability to think clearly, you freeze, your breathing increases, the only thought in your mind is that you're pretty sure these are your last moments and they're not going to be pretty. When you're in the middle of and open water swim you have no way of escape other than disappearing into the back of your brain and getting out of the situation.

"Alyson!" Sara says, "you have to keep swimming!"
"No...no...no...no..."
"I'm right here, you're fine, you need to get around the buoy and keep up with the rest of the team!"
"I can't...I can't...I can't..."
"You know the sharks eat the slow ones!"
And I was off.

Somehow we all made it back to shore unscathed.

It was the first of three open water swims we did during those two weeks, and each time we did one my fear slowly became less.
We rang in the 2008 New Year by doing the Kona Ironman swim, 2.4 miles, during which I experienced the most amazing thing in my life, swimming with wild dolphins.

It's about overcoming fears to get the opportunity to experience something extraordinary, but believe me when I say that I still avoid swimming in the ocean if possible. :)