Why?

I am the luckiest person in the world. Which is a lie. It seems that whenever somebody gives me a paper or item they want me to hold onto and not lose I lose it. I put it in a safe spot and think "oh I could never lose this" Wrong. I am dead wrong. I can, will, and do lose the item in question.

"Fuck" I'm irritated. I've been searching for three days through papers I shouldn't even have kept just to find the draft of my essay for my science class. "Where is it?"
I ponder knowing I saw it Saturday and that I put it in a spot I wouldn't lose. The only question now is where was that spot?

"Shit" I am a sailor. The bars of soap in my my bathroom cupboard are cringing and wishing they could wash the foul words from my mouth. I'm flipping through a notebook filled with math I know I won't find this paper there. Oh well.

"Jesus I swear I'll go to church more often, and I won't curse." I look at the knots in my wooden ceiling, "If you'll just let me find my paper." This is a useless tactic. I know that I'll find the paper when I don't need it. Probably tomorrow after I've turned in the essay and all of its steps.

My luck with finding lost things totals to:
*Car keys. Lost and found multiple times
*One snake, found two weeks later lying in the hallway waiting to be found and to terrify me.
*papers after I've found them.
*My missing hamster Pockets who ran when his cage was left open.
*My cellphone
*An overdue library book also put in a place where it will be "safe"