Mean Girls

I'm here to inform you lovely English classman of mine about the horrors and misery of bitchy roommates and their "BFF's." I have created a mission that I fondly refer to as 'Kitchen Impossible.' It will be epic! In order to help you understand the meaning of my mission, I will start at the beginning...

Let me take you back a few weeks to a time before the title ex-boyfriend ever existed. He was tall, built, handsome...and bald. It was my 21 run and I had been wasted for roughly an hour. While "dancing" at a club I call CJ's, as I was gracefully strutting my stuff, he appeared. The night lived strong as we rubbed our way to a telephone call two days later and a date for coffee. Of course the date went perfect! Duh, it was with me (joke)! Surprised by how well those two whole hours turned out I was asked later that evening for our little get together to expand...Margaritas at La Casa?

PAUSE!

Here's the first misguidance: When you ask your roommates politely "Should I or should I not say 'yes' to this boy who dated your bff (Code Name) Purple for five years and has been broken up with her for two, who, by the way, I have maybe spoken two sentences to in my entire life?" and what do they say . . . "Go for it, no, they're just good friends, go for it, he's a sweetie, a really nice guy." And I quote myself, Are you sure? I don't want to cause any DRAMA . . . woopsies?

NOW as I was saying, currently thanks to my two month long (now) ex-boyfriend, the title bitches does apply and the battle lines have been drawn. . . cue drama. As the dates kept coming and the nights got longer (and I mean longer), my roommates got meaner. Their meanness manifested itself in the housework. Who does that?

Not only am I no longer invited to small sit downs, girls' nights out, or any event that would acquire a run-in with the 'BFF,' but now I am the verbally, fix that, memo-ed live-in maid. I have been tortured with notes demanding 'kitchen attention' on days where nothing had my fingerprints. I have been kicked to the curb and ridiculed by their weapons of poor penmanship. Over what? A boy you swore was NOT off-limits?

SO...

I have finally decided to retaliate by creating mission 'Kitchen Impossible.'

Dear Abbey,

Do the dishes because beat up girl with my timid words!

Sincerely,
Captain Mean Girl

And I say to you....

Screw you! None of its mine because I'm a ball-a! Foo!

Now don't get me wrong, I love this school and I'm a Vandal Fan for life. But is it just me or are Idaho woman the only real woman on this planet? Face it. We're the real deal. None of that prissy I'm too good for you body language. I've never met a true Idaho girl who gives a cold shoulder and causes drama every waking moment of her life. We're simple, easy going and down to earth. Could this be the reason my roommates hate my guts? Because they're not from Idaho? Are they upset because I stole one of the many decent men Idaho has to offer? Are they jealous I'm not afraid to get a little dirty? If a mud fight is all it'll take for some type of RESPECT to start happening here then don't think I won't do it.