There are only two foods that were handed down to the humans from heaven: oreos and bacon. These sacred recipies are the divine food of life that fill the void in our own lives with one bite. My next two blogs will be devoted to these supreme foodstuffs to better educate you on these delectable delacacies. NOTE: the background of the oreo in this blog is based purely on myth.

THE OREO

Two black round cookies, chocolate flavored and crumbly stamped with a classic oreo logo, sandwich a white creamy center. There are many imitations of the oreo but none come close to the perfect combination of crunchy chocolate cookie and white vanilla filling. Each cookie containes 50 calories of goodness, a price that is well worth the surplus fat and sugars you are injesting.

MILK'S FAVORITE COOKIE

There are many methods for consuming the oreo. Some peel apart the two cookies and scrape off the cream with thier teeth or tongue, leaving them with the delicious black shell. Others eat them with penut butter. One of the most popular methods of injestion is with milk.

While milk is not one of the divine foods, it works to make a perfect compliment of the oreo. This is because the Gods were inspired by the cow's black and white color to make the first oreo. By dunking the oreo into milk it softens its texture and allows the cookie to spread and dissolve in your mouth, becoming even more effective in stimulating your oreo-sensitive nerves.

NEWEST INNOVATIONS

Since the oreo goddess, Oreothola, gave the fountain of oreos to her glutonous lover Fred (who capatalized on her foolish lust for a couch-potato like him and sold the divine secret to the world), humans have developed their own adaptations to better the oreo. For instance, today we have packaged them in peel-open plastic coated containers. We have made them halloween and easter themes with orange and yellow fillings. We have even made double stuffed oreos. The best and newest technique to increase the availability of the oreo, however, is new boxes that contain a third of the oreos of a regular package for a low price. The major flaw in human-oreo relation is that oreos are difficult to stop eating, but this package creates a limit in order to keep from overwhelming a human's oreo capacity. It is also cheap enough for college students (like us) to buy!

The question is: does the oreo comaper with the crunchy, flaky, salty, meaty bacon? Continued in episode 2....