"Insert Name Here" Likes this.

I'm not quite sure why I feel the need to write my opinions in letter form. It's only ever going to be seen by my friends on Facebook. Maybe it's because I want my friends who don't talk to me very much to see that they should tag me as the "creative one" on those stupid Internet popularity contests that they put in their photo albums. I'm never going to tag them back, but as long as I am not marked as the "loud one" I don't have a problem with being tagged. It could also be that I am reminiscing to when I owned a diary, or perhaps I like to use flowery images to complain about things.

I only ever seem to write letter statuses to things that won't answer back. I enjoy writing to the weather, weekdays, my jobs, the noisy neighbors upstairs who won't ever see it, and to things that I've lost that I can't find and have given up looking for. Or occasionally an explanation on how to do something.

Dear Tuesday, I believe that you owe me some money. I also accept checks and can take an IOU as well as you don't try to move out of town. You are misleading with your bright sunshine but cold winds. You are still technically winter why are you trying to be something you are not? I'm not asking for snow or ice. I'm just asking that you get some professional help for your problem. Sincerely, Melanee.

Here is another example. This is how to steal somebodies sandwich:
"You see Melanee, the Titanic was way before your time. How did it happen? WELL lets have your toasted cheese sandwich represent the boat itself. Now I'll be the iceberg. NOM NOM NOM. Let me dunk it in your soup and we'll pretend it's sinking."

Does anyone else have the urge to start all of their status updates in the third person because your name is always shown first?